Literally nothing makes me happier than the idea of hunting Elon Musk for sport. I am completely serious. The thought actively brings joy to my day.

I'd even give him a backpack of food, maybe a day's worth. I'd even leave all his little gadgets on him. You'd only get connection with satellite anyway. He's got to feel confident or it's no fun.

Would you toy with him a bunch, or just go straight-in for the kill?

Oh you absolutely draw it out are you kidding? You let the initial confidence erode into loneliness as the food and batteries run low, and helplessness when they run out, then fear when he realizes I gave him a canteen but no water. Am I trying to prolong the hunt? Or is it a trap to draw him out towards the rivers? The answer is both.

I’d let him get clever. Maybe he can start a fire with the electronics, maybe he read that he can brew the pine needles into tea for some extra calories. Maybe hes one of those guys that carries a multitool he never uses. Maybe he whittles a branch into a crude spear and manages to catch a salmon. Maybe he learns how many little bones they have.

More likely he goes hungry. That’s when you start fucking with him. You sneak into his camp at night. You leave him protein bars. Good ones. You make him feel watched. You make him feel desperate.

You wait for the full moon. Then you break out the horns and dogs and you learn how fast he can really run.

This new wave of v3ganism feels so rooted in the modern disconnect from food... yesterday I was at a family event with a vegan who recoiled at the idea of even just holding eggs, saying it felt wrong since its like eating babies (despite the fact that the eggs we eat aren't fertile... and the chickens would've been laid them regardless, and they would just rot if they weren't eaten...) but then she ate Peeps. Ykno. The food made with crushed up skin and bones. I warned her beforehand that they aren't vegan OR vegetarian and she ate them regardless. It really feels like there's this disconnect where people will happily eat a bright colored highly processed treat simply because it looks nothing like its source, but then get grossed out by one of humanity's most staple ingredients?

um, duh. he made their bed and cooked them full course meals

my mother is doing dracula daily

Ok, I've seen this sentiment before, but the amount of Kindle Unlimited ads I've been seeing is forcing me to repeat it-

Kindle Unlimited is offering two free months of unlimited ebooks. As a trial. Which will then become a paid subscription.

Your local library is offering unlimited ebooks all the time. Forever. No contracts, no predatory practices, no tracking of how long you spend on each particular page in the hopes that information about your habits can be sold for a profit.

Use your library. They want so badly to give you all of the things for free.

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

oh shit my laundry

reblog to save someone’s laundry

Lmfaoooo experts are now saying America has gone past hyperinflation to a new stage they're calling "sonic inflation"

not the biggest fan of how all everyday tasks have to be repeated again and again. girl why am i sisyphus i didn't even cheat death

I strive to be as petty as Lois from Malcolm in the Middle

i just know that gotham city twitter would be absolutely insane